Monty Python's Flying Circus

"In the debate, a spokesman accused the government of being silly and doing not at all good things."
- Parliamentary report read by Eric Idle.
.
"Please do the operation!"
"All right, but only if you'll go on a camping holiday with me."
"He asked me, he asked me!"
- Graham Chapman asking John Cleese for a nose job.
.
There are just too many memorable quotes. Nothing like the Pythons!

THE LUMBERJACK SONG
I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra !!!

(his mother must be very proud)

He would like to arrange a Holiday; AND NOTHING ELSE.
Funniest line ever in a sketch. The misdirection was so sneaky.

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

(Mr. Bertenshaw and his sick wife arrive at a hospital.)

Doctor: Mr. Bertenshaw?

Mr. Bertshaw: Me, Doctor.

Doctor: No, me doctor, you Mr. Bertenshaw.

Mr. Bertshaw: My wife, doctor...

Doctor: No, your wife patient.

Sister: Come with me, please.

Mr. Bertshaw: Me, Sister?

Doctor: No, she Sister, me doctor, you Mr. Bertenshaw.

Nurse: Dr. Walters?

Doctor: Me, nurse...You Mr. Bertenshaw, she Sister, you doctor.

Sister: No, doctor.

Doctor: No Doctor call ambulance, keep warm.

Nurse: Drink, doctor?

Doctor: Drink doctor, eat Sister, cook Mr. Bertenshaw, nurse me!

Nurse: You, doctor?

Doctor: ME doctor!! You Mr. Bertenshaw. She Sister!

Mr. Bertshaw: But my wife, nurse...

Doctor: Your wife not nurse. She nurse, your wife patient. Be patient, she nurse your wife. Me doctor, you tent, you tree, you Tarzan, me Jane, you Trent, you Trillo...me doctor!

Sergeant-Major: Stop this, stop this. What a silly way to carry on. What do you want?

Customer: I wish to register a complaint.

Sergeant-Major: Well, this is a hospital. You want the pet shop.

Preacher-"Blessed are the Peacemakers"
Woman-"did he say blessed are the Cheesemakers?"
Man(John Cleese)-"well obviously it's not to be taken literally it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products"

...is one that comes to my mind most often, without specific reason.

Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
...
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
...

Classic!